Liar, liar pants on fire

I lie to my kids. Sometimes there is no other option. For example, a fib is warranted when your 3-year-old daughter has morphed into a wet noodle on the floor at Target. It’s the last resort. At this point I am usually sweating, have already threatened time-out and to confiscate her Barbie collection when we get home. David Copperfield has nothing on angry parents. We become ventriloquists, mumbling demands through our teeth. “Get off the floor right now.” I have no choice, but to lie. “Fine, I will leave you here. I am going home.” I take a few steps away. She jumps up and we leave. Of course I am not really going to leave her at Target. Although I personally wouldn’t mind living there.

It turns out I am not alone. A new study suggests most parents lie to their kids. Researchers in the U.S., Canada and China interviewed families. Among the popular lies: “We will buy it next time.” Yeah, you will get that $100, 200 piece toy the day after…never. Another good one is the “If you don’t stop crying that lady over there is going to get mad.” While I am sure my child’s screams can get irritating, the teenage store clerk isn’t going to get involved. She is too busy texting her friends and staring at the clock.

Some people say even little white lies can influence family relationships. I say talk to me after you’ve been smacked in the face while carrying a screaming toddler to your car. Your nose will never look the same.