Mine-crack

My children are addicted to mining. I can’t get them to pick up toys or dirty clothes, but they can use a pick ax with no problem. They want to play Minecraft 24/7. It’s like crack. Well, I am guessing since I have never done crack. If you are not familiar with this game it started as an App, but can now be played on gaming consoles. There are Minecraft toys and clothing. The graphics in this game are on par with Pitfall. Actually, it is even worse. Do you know how they pixelate Britney Spears’ vagina on TV? That is what everything looks like on Minecraft. In my opinion, swinging on a vine to dodge an alligator is more fun than building a house with bricks. Honestly, can someone please tell me the point of Minecraft? What is the object of this game? Do you ever win? I tried to play it once with my kids and got motion sickness. Once you have kids doing anything, but standing still can make you vomit. Forget about amusement park rides, swings, etcetera. Do you see how I went from being ghetto Mom to sounding like a professor by spelling out one word. Bam! That’s how it is done people.

I nearly had a heart attack playing this game when my 4-year-old started screaming, “Creeper! There is a creeper!” Before I could figure out what the hell a creeper was it killed me. Then, I was chastised by my daughter being dumb. For a second I thought about flipping her off. Then, I remembered she is not only my flesh and blood, but is still in pre-school. This game is not for me. I can dodge creepers at the corner store, but have no idea how to get away from a monster made of green bricks.