Minivan Mix

I loved the song “Thrift Shop” when I heard it on the radio. It has a good beat and teaches children the value of bargain hunting. This Macklemore fella would be a good addition to the minivan mix, right? Well, as long as you download the radio edition. I did not. E means you just Effed up and played a vulgar song for your 3-year-old.


Thrift Shop

Macklemore (feat Wanz)


Nah, Walk up to the club like, “What up, I got a big c***!”
I’m so pumped about some s*** from the thrift shop
Ice on the fringe, it’s so damn frosty
That people like, “Damn! That’s a cold ass honkey.”
Rollin’ in, hella deep, headin’ to the mezzanine,

Now, I am pretty sure Miss Manners frowns upon announcing the size of your penis when greeting another person. “Why is the honkey cold Mommy?

Probably shoulda washed this, smells like R. Kelly’s sheets
But s***, it was ninety-nine cents! (Bag it)

I probably would have passed on clothing that smells like urine. I don’t care if it is was 99 cents. The ladies would rather smell Aqua Velva than urine.


Your grammy, your aunty, your momma, your mammy
I’ll take those flannel zebra jammies, second-hand, I rock that motherf*****
The built-in onesie with the socks on that motherf*****
I hit the party and they stop in that motherf*****
They be like, “Oh, that Gucci – that’s hella tight.”
I’m like, “Yo – that’s fifty dollars for a T-shirt.”
Limited edition, let’s do some simple addition
Fifty dollars for a T-shirt – that’s just some ignorant b**** (s***)
I call that getting swindled and pimped (s***)

I am not going to pretend I have never sworn in front of my kids. I try not to, but s*** happens. My daughter told a playmate, “My Mom whispers bad words to my Dad when she is mad.” Obviously, if she heard me I wasn’t whispering very well. I don’t want my toddler singing motherf**** on the playground. So, while I agree with Macklemore that it is ridiculous to spend $50 on a t-shirt, the explicit version of his song cannot be played in the swagger wagon ever again. The clean version is f****** awesome!


Read More: CynicalMother.com

One Comment

  • donna lafontaine

    LOLOL…this is the FUNNIEST thing I’ve read today, actually, it’s the funniest thing I’ve read since Friday. ( Can’t share what that Friday funny thing was. I don’t want to be inappropriate.) Keep it up hilarious lady!

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