No Way in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

I must discuss the latest product targeting kids: “Squishy Baff.” If you haven’t seen the commercial you must be able to watch adult TV. I have heard people like you existed and I am envious. I watch shows like Yo Gabba Gabba. Each episode is clearly written while tripping on acid. Weird creatures come out of a boom box and sing songs played at Studio 54. Muno looks like he caught something during Spring Break Daytona Beach 1996.

“Squishy Baff” is a powder you sprinkle that makes the water look like a cesspool. Then, you’re supposed to put your children in the bathtub. I don’t know how bath time goes in your house. Where I live soap and water ends up on the ground and walls. Toys are strewn across the bathroom. That goop would be everywhere. I’m certain much like a trip to the beach you will find that sludge in places you didnt know existed. The company claims you simply dump another packet of powder in the tub and it returns to water. So, lets pretend your witchcraft works Now, i have a ring around the tub and have to give the kids another bath? Why don’t you just kick me in the gut. It would be far less painful.