Period Party!

Just when I thought Caillou was the worst thing on  earth my daughter discovered “Shopkins.”  If you are not aware this is the hottest new toy for young girls. I know it’s politically incorrect to assign a gender to toys, but I’ve yet to meet a boy who likes “Shopkins.” 

The figurines are the size of a quarter.  Each is an item you could buy at a store, but has a face.  It’s the stuff nightmares are made of.  Here is an example of one overpriced package:
  
There are boots, food, whatever the hell is in the middle of this package, etc.  What do they do?  I can tell you each one hurts like hell if you step on it.   It also takes what seems like an eternity to find a missing “Shopkin.”  I can’t explain why children are drawn to this toy. For goodness sake, in the 80s a creepy, talking bear was a hot seller.  We also liked babies born in cabbage.  I will buy tiny figurines and things like Pokemon cards, but I have to draw the line somewhere.  I will not be buying this:
 
This is Lammily, also known as “Normal Barbie” and the “realistic fashion doll.”   I appreciate a doll with cellulite and normal waist.  However, I will not purchase the new $10 “Period Party Extension Kit.”  I’m not kidding.  The creator of this doll decided it was a good idea for Lammily to get her menstrual cycle and it’s a party.  I don’t remember cake and streamers the first time I bled.  

This is an excerpt from an article in Time magazine: 

Described as “the fun way to explain the menstrual cycle to kids,” creator Nickolay Lamm wants to start a conversation about periods and the stigmas that surround it.
The kit comes with an educational pamphlet explaining what to expect from a menstrual cycle plus a pair of doll underwear, 19 colored pads, a calendar and stickers to track periods.  

I don’t want my daughter to learn about one of life’s milestones from a doll.  Actually, I’m not ready to teach my 5-year-old about a menstrual cycle.  She loses her mind over a scratch. In fact, the mere sight of blood sends her over the edge.  There isn’t a candy bar in the universe to calm a first grader who found out she will bleed once a month for decades.  Call me crazy, but I want her to enjoy being a kid.  What’s next? Ken gets a prostate exam?  Skipper gets mammogram?  

It’s ridiculous.  Besides, can you imagine how much time I would spend looking for misplaced miniature  maxi pads.