Potty Dance my ass!

I learned a valuable lesson today. Kids aren’t fooled by pull-ups. They know that it is just a glorified diaper. A diaper that guarantees you are going to get shit everywhere.

We were visiting my sister this afternoon when my daughter announced to the room that she farted. I know, she is a classy broad. I asked, “Do you have to poop on the potty?” Nope. A minute later she proudly declared she let another one slip out. I asked again, “Do you have to poop on the potty?” Nope. Liar! I could tell by the look on her face she needed to use the potty immediately.

We ran to the bathroom faster than Lisa Rinna without Depends. Okay, what the hell is that all about? You have plastic surgery (a lot of it) and injections to make yourself appear younger. THEN, become the spokesperson for adult diapers? WTF. Anyway, I quickly took off the pull-up before I realized she let out more than air. At this point it was on her leg, pants and my hand. The other children were in the hallway gagging and laughing. I was sweating and trying to figure out how to get this thing off. I slowly pulled each leg out like I was playing the game Operation. Buzzzzzz! Buzzzzzz! It was impossible not to get shit everywhere. Awesome!

I spent the next 30 minutes scrubbing someone else’s bathroom. Nobody was doing the potty dance.