Round 1

This was an actual argument in my house tonight:

2-year-old: (speaking to 5-year-old brother who took a toy away from her) You’re stupid!

5-year-old: That’s weally (substitute R) mean! I am not!”

Me: Guys we don’t call each other stupid. That’s not nice.

2-year-old : You’re dumb!

(Holy shit she can’t even put her shoes on the right feet, but just came up with a synonym.)

5-year-old: “I’m not dumb! I know all about Batman and my alphabet.” (In order of importance?)

2-year-old: “Well, you’re stupid!”

5-year-old: “Am not! I know more about Legos and can use crayons to write my name!”

He has a point. I’m dusting off a shelf for a Nobel Peace Prize as we speak.

5-year-old exits stage left in tears.

Me: “Okay, Missy (that’s my ‘you’re in trouble’ warning) you are going in time out. You are hurting your brother’s feelings!”

5-year-old returns

5-year-old: “Ha,Ha, you’re going in time-out!”

2-year-old: “So. You’re still stupid.”

I am in serious trouble with this lady.