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Stuck at a tea party

I purchased a play tent for my oldest nearly 12 years ago. My middle child loved to hide in it. My 2-year-old daughter and I regularly have tea parties inside. It is an informal get together, but better than spilling invisible tea on the carpet. Well, yesterday afternoon the soirée got a little rowdy. Basically, my daughter invited two many dolls. Baby Alive and the Cabbage Patch Doll can’t be in the same room together. The Cabbage Patch doll has her fingers sewn together while Baby Alive has the ability to ask for more bananas. Can you blame the Cabbage Patch Doll for being bitter?

My daughter decided to exit the tent and put the Cabbage Patch Doll in time-out. It was a solid decision. I followed behind, awkwardly crawling through a space meant for a toddler. I stuck my head through the opening at the precise time my daughter decided to close the tent door. A chunk of my hair got tangled in the zipper. I tried tugging and twisting, but I was stuck. “Are you stuck Mommy?” She is very observant. “I will get the scissors.” What? “No. No. No! Mommy doesn’t need scissors sweetie,” I said. My phone was in my pocket. Do I call 911? I tried to lift the tent to stand, but the damn thing has Velcro on the base. It might as well have been superglued to the carpet. My daughter offered to help, pulling every hair on my head except for the strands tangled in the zipper. I decided to yank one last time before calling for help. It came loose. The bald spot is hardly noticeable. Can I call a lawyer and sue Xavier Roberts for my pain and suffering? This never would have happened if he left those kids in the cabbage patch.

THE EVIDENCE:

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Read more: CynicalMother.com

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