Conversations in the minivan
Let’s talk Ebola & RHONJ.
Just when you thought you couldn’t love Kevin Bacon more he does something like this.
Insane Christmas Wish List
It happens every single year. My kids decide to edit their list to Santa weeks out from the big day. Do you think Santa can just whip up a PS4? No, that s*** is complicated and sold out everywhere and someone should have planned ahead. Here is something that, as an adult, boggles my mind. The fact that kids buy the story that Santa makes the toys. If Target has the action figure or doll you want then why the hell would Santa have to make them? Santa isn’t using a hammer. He is swiping the hell out of his Red Card. My 6-year-old told St. Nick at a recent “Story-time…
I would love to say I am shocked by this video. I am not. I worked in TV news for a decade, back when being accurate mattered. Now, it’s about who has the story first. KTVU thought they got the scoop on the names of the pilots of Asiana flight 214, which crashed last Saturday at San Francisco International Airport. They ran with it. Unfortunately, it was a hoax. (The NTSB says an intern was to blame for confirming the names) Trust me, anchors don’t always read copy before a live newscast. Here is proof. This makes Ron Burgundy look professional.
I was in the kitchen this morning when I heard what sounded like techno music blaring upstairs. Were my kids hosting a rave? I crept upstairs to bust the party. I did not find glow sticks or over sized pacifiers. Instead, I discovered a digital drum set in front of my 13-year-old’s bedroom door. I bought this electronic drum at Goodwill before Christmas. It only cost $5. Sometimes Santa is on a budget. It sells for $50 on Amazon. Score! I am trying to encourage my 6-year-old’s love of music. I had no idea it would be used in psychological operations. My recently graduated kindergartener channeled Moby, cranked the volume…
Giveaway Alert: SANUS flat screen TV wall mount
We still have a giant boob tube in our house. The television in my room was a wedding gift. It now has to heat up before the screen shows color. It’s like watching the Wizard of Oz every single day. I would not allow my kids to have an older model TV in their room. I think there was an episode of Oprah warning about the danger these TV’s pose Oprah Winfrey scared the hell out of me for years. Those TV’s could kill a small child if the stand happened to tip over. So, when my 13-year-old got a TV in his room, he hit the jackpot and got…
I am guilty of road rage. Well, it’s actually watered down road rage. I am not a complete lunatic. I haven’t crashed my car into another vehicle or assaulted anyone. I bite my tongue most of the time when my children are in the car. However, when you are going through perimenopause some things are out of your control. Most recently, I yelled at a driver who didn’t turn right when the light was red. “It’s right on RED,” I shouted through my windshield. He didn’t hear me because we were separated by glass and metal. My kids were watching Tangled Ever After for the millionth time at an…
My daughter loves books, but is too controlling to allow me to read all the time. (I have no idea where she gets that from) She wants to read to me. Unfortunately, she is not a child prodigy. So, she makes up a story to go along with the pictures. This morning she read me a book about Rapunzel. Her version is very different than the fairy tale I remember. It is definitely different from the board book we own: Her translation: “Rapunzel grew out her hair because she hates her mother. Her mom is always complaining.” Come to think of it, my daughter refuses to get a haircut. She…
A teenager accused in the shooting death of an innocent baby in Georgia was in court today. Nancy Grace is wetting her pants over this story. She is going to pull her hair back with a bedazzled bobby pin and analyze the entire case. By now you’ve probably heard what happened. A woman, pushing a stroller, was allegedly approached by two teenagers demanding money. When she refused they shot her and threatened to kill her baby. She didn’t have anything to give them. So, she says, one of the boys shot the 13-month-old in the face. If I were still a TV news reporter I would just give you the…
I don’t know about your house, but in mine game night always ends in tears. Families always look so happy in the commercials, smiling and laughing. Don’t get me wrong, it starts out fun. My younger kids jump up and down with glee. They love playing board games. Our favorites are Hungry, Hungry Hippo, Twister and Trouble. I have to force my oldest to put down the IPad and play.You will spend time with your family and enjoy it, damn it! They each take a turn, but quickly forget whose next. “It’s my turn.” “He took my turn.” “She just went.” I may not be able to remember why I…