Caddyshack

I think I figured out how people choose tattoos.   Some request an intracit piece of artwork, a name or even a symbol because it has meaning.  It represents a moment in time, reminds them of a lost loved one or offers inspiration.  Done right,  a tattoo can truly be a piece of art.  Others walk into a tattoo shop and say, “I’m going to a waterpark next week and I need the ugliest tattoo you got.”  There is an unwritten rule that these tattoos cannot be hidden.  It must be inked on a breast or in the middle of a hairy back.  I saw a few dozen of these tattoos Sunday afternoon.  I took my children to an indoor waterpark.  These are the sacrifices we as parents make on a regular basis.  Our children won’t fully understand until they become parents themselves.   As a child I loved waterparks.  As an adult I feel like I am taking a bath with strangers in luke warm water.   Discarded band aids follow me wherever I go.   But I push through because my children enjoy it and I live to make them happy.   They ran around with their friends laughing and splashing.   They went down the slides over and over again.  I embraced the moment.  At one point I smiled and thought ‘What a great day!’  I was feeling hashtag blessed. Then, all hell broke loose.  A panicked lifeguard began ordering children out of the water.  It was  like a scene out of Caddyshack.   The sprinklers were shut off.  Then, this came out:

The manager wasnt catching butterflies.  Someone either dropped a deuce or vomited in the water.  It was difficult to tell and in my opinion this net wasn’t an effective cleaning tool.  A worker informed me that they would put chlorine in the water and the kids could continue playing in one hour.  I have suffered through episodes of Caillou, a cartoon about  a whiny child with unexplained baldness.    I have waited in line for hours in the scorching heat at amusement parks so my children could sit on a ride for three minutes.  However, to quote the musician Meat Loaf  “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that, no I won’t do that.”  And with that we packed up and went home.