Dinosaur Days

I have been an emotional wreck lately. Sure, some of my instability can be blamed on hormones. However, it also has a lot to do with the fact that my baby will soon turn 13. I will be the mother of a teenager.

It really started to sink in over the past few days while cleaning the basement. I came across a huge bin of dinosaurs. My son loved every kind of dinosaur. He knew everything about them. I can easily say we had hundreds of dinosaur toys. As I picked up each toy I could see him crouched on the kitchen floor, a Tyrannosaurus in one hand and a Brachiosaurus in another. I could hear his high pitched voice roaring as he banged the dinosaurs together. I have been holding on to these toys for years, but it is time to clean house. As hard as I tried, I could not freeze time. He is growing up whether I like it or not.

I gathered a small container of dinosaurs to keep. They may never get played with again. Perhaps, I will pull them out every few years and reminisce. I am sure he will laugh at me and, like he did tonight, say “Mom get rid of those.” I can’t. He is almost as tall as me. His voice is deeper. We have adult conversations, but I still hear a 4-year-old. I cannot let go completely. I never will. In my mind he will always be the little boy playing with dinosaurs on the kitchen floor.

After I wrote this post a friend linked this article on Facebook. It is beautifully written and on point. Have a box of tissues handy. You will need them.

A Letter to Future Me: Remember How Much You Loved Them