Hate Mail

I have arrived! I got my first piece of vicious hate mail.

Let’s break it down. Shall we?

It would be a spectacular feeling if I could just punch that arrogant smirk you have on your face at all times.

(smirking) I hope you licked the Doritos dust off your fingers before typing this message. I know it was a tough day for you. Your Xbox froze while playing online with kids half your age. Your elderly mother is nagging you about the smell in basement “apartment.” Then, you read that Ben Affleck will be the next Batman. Take a deep breath. Violence is never the answer.

Your blog is nothing more than mindless drivel. Boring. Just another idiot on the internet who voices their opinion.

Clearly, you are a dedicated reader. Thank you!

You’re a dime a dozen. You old ass bitch.

Ha! A dermatologist can (and does) correct that problem on a regular basis. I bet he can help your skin issues, too. Your weight problem will take a little more work.

Feel free to drop Phil a line:

pbandjbrooks@gmail.com