Instagram Food

I think certain “friends” are trying to drive me crazy on Facebook. Everyday they tease me with photographs of food. How neat! You got to enjoy a thick cut of meat, baked potato and a vegetable? Then, you had time to edit the picture on Instagram?

You will rarely find parents posting pictures of breakfast, lunch or dinner. Why? Well, most of us don’t get to enjoy meals. We get bites of food or binge on junk after working as a waitress in our own dining room.

I am trying to teach my children not to shout demands at the table. It’s like they develop Tourette Syndrome at meal time. The moment I attempt to sit down my 3-year-old daughter will yell in a high pitch voice, “Napkin!” It’s startling. “Juice!” Of course, I correct her. “May I have a napkin, please?” “Can I have more juice, please?” It’s still annoying when they ask politely. I just want to sit down, too.

Please don’t give me the “Well, I don’t need to see pictures of your children” crap. The difference is you probably don’t want my kids. I would kill for a hot bowl of fettuccine.

P.S. I don’t care how many times you check in. You aren’t the mayor of that restaurant.

Louis C.K. does a great job explaining how demanding a 3-year-old can be at meal time. This entire bit is hysterical: