It should be a national holiday

Ryan Gosling turns 33 today. I think we should all pause for a moment of silence to recognize his mother’s magical uterus. Not all uterus-es are created equal. Take for instance, Kris Jenner’s uterus. It housed a clan of media whores. There must have been a kink in the umbilical cord. (Did you see the new Kardashian clothing line at Sears? “It looks really classy,” said prostitutes everywhere.) Clearly, there is something wrong with Dennis Rodman’s mom’s uterus. Tom Cruise’s mom’s uterus was obviously defective, too. Mrs. Gosling’s uterus kept sweet Ryan cozy, safe and perfect. The world will forever be grateful.






Click here to enjoy 33 pictures of Ryan Gosling, one for each day he has been on this earth.

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