Minivan Mix

If I have to hear Miley’s Cyrus’  “Cannonball” on the radio one more time I may go bananas.  Am I the only who sings Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl” when I need the correct spelling for bananas? This s**t is bananas.  B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

“Cannonball” is on the radio every damn time I get in the car. Would it kill programming directors to play some old school Stevie B on the radio now and then? Vanilla Ice? Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch? My van doesn’t have the new MP3 player so I have to rely on CDs. We got a 6 disc changer up in here b***hes!  That is how we minivan playas roll.

I was scrolling through iTunes trying to find some new music and came across a new Chris Brown song. He has supposedly left his wife beater ways behind and is a changed man. I suppose everybody deserves a second chance. So, I decided to give this song a listen.

“Show Me”
(Kid Ink feat. Chris Brown)

Adult Ink is one of my favorite performers. I hope his kid doesn’t disappoint.

[Intro: Chris Brown]
Babyyyy
Yeah
Mustard on the beat ho

Who got mustard on the beat? I hope they have some Spray & Wash because mustard can be a tricky stain to remove.

[Bridge 1: Chris Brown]
Baby let me put your panties to the side.

Oh my! Obviously, his lady friend needs to pee in the woods.  “Why else would you need to put your panties to the side?” – said every woman over 30.  

I’m a make you feel alright
‘Cause I’m a give you what you need, yeah

Do you know what a woman needs? They need you to take the garbage out and put your dirty clothes in the hamper. They need you to get off your phone and play with the kids.  They need (voice cracking) you need to acknowledge that they do everything.  Would it kill you to say Thank You?  She needs an adult conversation and a minute without hearing, “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.”

(Fast forward….)

Got a cup in your hand
Baby sitting but you ain’t got no kids
We ain’t leaving ’til there ain’t no more left
Can’t see no time on the Rolex
I could tell you a freak, go and show it
Looking for the after party, where to go at?
Go on the floor like a doormat
Baby you know where to throw that
Don’t say ain’t or your mother will faint.  Your father will fall in a bucket of paint.  Your sister will cry.  Your brother will sigh.  The dog and cat will say good-bye.  I have said ain’t before and none of that happened.  However,  this song would make my 10th grade English teacher cringe.

We ain’t leaving ’til  are not leaving until there ain’t no more left it is gone.
Can’t see no time I cannot see the time on the Rolex
I could tell you you are a freak, go and show it
Looking for the after party, where to go at where is it?
Go on the floor like a doormat
Baby you know where to throw that

Unfortunately,  this Chris Brown song does not make the minivan mix.