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Hunt for Gosling
Ryan Gosling is rumored to be in Skaneateles, NY. So, I had no choice…. Would we find him sunbathing? Dining at a local restaurant? Building a house for Allie? It didn’t matter. This is the first time I have taken a spontaneous road trip without kids in a decade. It’s times like this that you know who your true friends are. Nikki didn’t tell me I was crazy. Wait, yes she did, but she went anyway. It was worth the trip. A chance to see Ryan Gosling and take in this view: We spotted a few men who looked like Gosling and a lot of men who did not, if…
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Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal
This may be the greatest Ryan Gosling YouTube video thus far. Eye candy + funny = Watch this video on YouTube
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1-800-RYANGOSLINGWITHDRAWAL
You don’t have to suffer alone. There is help. It may, however, cost a fortune if you live outside of the UK. A British company, Blinkbox, has set up a Ryan Gosling helpline called “The Gosline.” It comes after Ryan Gosling announced he is taking a break from acting. (wipes away tear) When you call it plays back some of Gosling’s famous movie lines. If you catch me dialing the number organize an intervention because I have hit rock bottom.
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It’s not you. It’s me.
Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting. “I need a break from myself as much as I imagine the audience does,” he said. Clearly, he doesn’t know me at all. I am going to need some time to process this news. Watch this video on YouTube
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Hey girl, your tweet was favorited
My heart skipped a beat. Could it be? Ryan Gosling favorited one of my tweets? What did I write on Twitter that inspired him? Was it my tweet about a spork? Did he enjoy a tweet about my bickering children? Snap out of it woman! Ryan Gosling doesn’t want to hear about potty training or your c-section scar. It wasn’t the real Ryan Gosling. It was the Ryan Gosling Fan Club. (The official club, not one of those poser clubs) I may be a lonely housewife pining for a celebrity who doesn’t know I exist, but I am not pathetic. I am not going to join a fan club at…
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Dog days
My dog, Max, has been growing his hair out for a few months. He didn’t have a choice after Sweeney Todd (aka my husband) gave him a haircut. The poor dog looked like he had been butchered. He had bald spots on his back, but overgrown hairs on his paws. He finally looks like himself again: an Ewok. My kids love this dog. They don’t have to walk, feed or bathe him as much as I do. Nor do they have to vacuum daily or pull yarn out of its ass. (TMI?) Is my dog secretly enrolled in a knitting class? I don’t have yarn lying around the house. Is…
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Hey girl
I had a date tonight. No, you don’t need to adjust your screen. It is true, Ryan and I spent the evening together. Unfortunately, his friends Sean & Josh kept getting in the way. I’m kidding. I am not a psycho stalker, but I did catch the latest Ryan Gosling movie with my dear friend. You heard that right sister, I actually got to see an adult film in a movie theater. Well, not that kind of film, but rather, a movie without cartoon characters. In my opinion, Gangster Squad didn’t have enough nudity. How are you going to hire Ryan Gosling to star in a film and not once…
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Meggings
Just when my eyes stopped burning from the sight of men in skinny jeans along comes Meggings. Leggings for Men…… Watch this video on YouTube I am speechless. Style experts say this fashion trend is going to take off in 2013. Translation: get ready to see some testicle hugging pants on men with no business wearing them. Justin Bieber wore them at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Well, then that makes it okay? Justin Bieber is about as manly as, well, Justin Bieber. I read an article that broke down the proper shirt to wear with Meggings. One expert recommends a crisp white button down long enough to cover…
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Hey girl, heeeey!
A friend of mine texted today, “Are you okay? You haven’t been blogging.” Honestly, I am exhausted. I realize my laziness left all three of my fans without mindless nonsense to read. I’m sorry to disappoint. As I mentioned with my less than subtle YouTube post, I was in a wedding this weekend. I didn’t have permission from the groomsmen to post his picture. So, I had to improvise. I think I look good with Bobblehead Ryan. Hey girl, I will walk you down the aisle. After two late nights consuming alcohol I felt like I had been hit my a train. If you can’t tell by the crows feet…
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Hey girl, let’s color!
Mickey Mouse, Dora and Spiderman can take a hike. This is the only character I want to color. An artist has created a Ryan Gosling inspired coloring book. It only costs about $12, features Ryan with his dog and scenes from movies. I hate to admit there could be a few problems with this book. I would get really pissed if my kids scribbled all over his beautiful face. Why the hell can’t they grasp the concept of staying in the lines? It could also result in an awkward mother/son moment. “Mom, why are you sweating?”