Toilet Paper Ads

Just great! Now men will never come out of the bathroom. Two New York brothers have started a company making toilet paper printed with coupons and ads. The paper will be free for any business that wants to use it. I’ve never understood why my husband would want to read on a toilet? So, you basically want to sit over your own filth for 20 minutes? Do your business and get the hell out of there. My daughter is a speed pooper. I think she could be in the Guinness Book of World Records. No sooner do I put her on the potty does she shout, “I’m done.” (which means: come wipe my ass) My son takes a lot longer, but I’m not even going to discuss the possibility of why. It’s traumatizing.

I would also wonder who would want to take a coupon out of a public restroom stall. If the peanuts at your local pub are covered in urine and feces you can be damn sure there are germs on that paper. Besides, I think we already have enough reading material in public restrooms. With things like “Sharon was here,” “Tommy loves Megan” and “Susan is a whore” on stall doors who needs anything else. (By the way, to the “Tommy’s” of the world: get a Hallmark card. There isn’t a woman in the world that’s turned on by bathroom graffiti.)

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