Where are you Jake Ryan?

I am making it my mission to find Jake Ryan. (aka. Michael Schoeffling) As legend has it he quit acting to start a business in his hometown of Wilkes Barre, PA. I don’t know much about Pennsylvania other than I seem to get a speeding ticket every time I drive through this damn state. I read an article that not even GQ was able to track him down. (and we know there are some real hard hitting journalists there) Jake, if you are out there, please IM me. Middle-aged women all over the world need to see you.

Then again, if you are fat and bald please stay in hiding. I want to remember you like this: