Extreme makeover

Since I cannot afford Gwenyth Paltrow’s doctors I decided to give the blog a makeover. Come on now, you didn’t think that is natural? I don’t know what face cream she is using, but she isn’t buying it at CVS. I am approaching 40 and it shows. My 3-year-old daughter is the only person I know who has skin as smooth as Gwenny’s. In case you live under a rock the Iron Man 3 actress was crowned People Magazine’s most beautiful woman. No, not one of the, she is just the. It begs the question: What the hell gives magazine editors the authority to define beauty? Stick to covering stories about girl’s being rescued from wells. That is why we love People Magazine.

Paltrow works out for two hours everyday? I don’t even get two minutes alone to poop. I try to workout, but am constantly interrupted by my children. My nanny looks a lot like Manti Te’o’s girlfriend. So, I have to multi task. I doubt Gwyneth is holding a baby while doing squats. She designed her own workout gear because she couldn’t find a yoga top with a single shoulder strap. Girl, I got 99 problems and that ain’t one.

Honestly, I don’t want my daughter to admire see Gwyneth Paltrow’s beauty. My thigh is bigger than her waist. (and my thighs are like a Hallmark card – touching) In my opinion, she is not the best role model for young girl’s.

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Anyway, let’s bring this discussion back to me. What do you think of the blog’s new look?

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