No gold for you
Well, file this one under “No Shit.” Nadzeya Ostapchuk of Belarus was stripped of her gold medal for doping. When your daughter starts growing facial hair she may be taking steroids. If your daughter’s voice is deeper than James Earl Jones she is probably popping pills. I don’t even know where Belarus is on the map. Of course, I would never admit to my kids I don’t know something. I just pretend to take a phone call and google the answer.
I’m not sure what the men in Belarus look for in a lady. Maybe they like their women to look like Biff from Back to the Future. I will tell this story to my children as a lesson about the consequences of doing drugs and lying. Better yet I will show her picture and really scare the hell out of them. Good luck trying to get the gold medal back from this chick. She could kick your ass.
The Guy Side
If you have more pimples than a 15 year old in puberty…you might be hitting the juice.
If your manhood looks more like a gherkin than a pickle…you might be hitting the juice.
If you can bench press a buick…you might be hitting the juice.