Bath time

Bath time sucks. The advertising gods have a way of making it look like the highlight of each day. Children are gently splashing in the water while Mom looks on with a twinkle in her eye. Don’t get me wrong, my kids love hopping in the tube. Literally. They love to hop in the tub. I would be a millionaire if I got a $1 each time I said, “Sit down. You’re going to fall.” The other popular phrase is, “Don’t put the water in your mouth.” Do they realize they are drinking their own filth?

I spend 10 minutes hunched over the tub trying to get shampoo out of their hair without getting water in their eyes while they squirm from side to side. I have a better chance of winning the lottery. Tear free shampoo? False advertising. They are going to cry whether it burns or not. Well, when they are not crying over who had what cup first. People without children are puzzled. Why does she have dishes in the bathtub?
Clearly, you’ve never poured water from cup to cup. It is hours of fun. So much so, that they never want to get out. It doesn’t even phase them when their skin wrinkles like a raisin. Whatever happened to that dancing California raisin? Remember the “Heard It Through the Grapevine” commercials? Now, that was stellar advertising. A commercial that makes me want to eat a raisin is well done.

I’ve tried lying about the tub drain being broken. My kids aren’t buying it and refuse to take a shower. They usually skip to the bathtub and come out screaming. It would be much easier to hose them down outside.

Read More: CynicalMother.com

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