Deuce

I was told this morning that I looked “tiny.” I am 5’7 1/2 and the only tiny thing on my body is my pinky toe. Even it is larger than average and bends slightly inward. I have been working out, but don’t feel thinner. I definitely feel older, having to ice my achy body after every cardio routine. I am not trying to be a size 2. I run, lift, lunge, etc. to maintain my sanity. Now that I am home more with the kids I need all the natural endorphins I can get. The next person who says “It must be nice that you don’t have to work” is going to get punched in the face. Bitches, Dolly Parton had it easy. I would kill to clock in at nine and out at five.

I try to set aside at least 45 minutes several times a week to exercise. If my kids interrupt I give the hand signal. Unless they are bleeding or about to bleed it can wait. Your sister took your spot on the couch? Talk to the hand You want a snack even though we finished dinner five minutes ago? Talk to the hand He is copying you? Talk to the hand My daughter is the only one who doesn’t quite understand. So, on occasion, I cave and read Cinderella books while running on the treadmill.

Another Mom at my son’s school inquired about my workout routine.
Before I could open my mouth to answer he blurted out, “Yeah she sweats a lot. I mean, A LOT! It’s disgusting.” Phew! I almost had a little confidence before that comment. We wouldn’t want that would we? Then again, maybe having too much confidence is a bad thing. Take for example, the teenage girl at my son’s tennis match tonight. She was so proud of her body she was letting it all hang out. I will give her the benefit of the doubt that she misunderstood her Mom’s instructions. Perhaps she thought she was going to the OBGYN instead of playing tennis again. This cartoon summarizes how I feel about her summer attire: