Fish tale

It took 38 years to realize I hate fishing. Hate. The preparation sucks. The waiting sucks. Catching nothing, but seaweed sucks. I came to this realization today after taking the boys fishing at my in-laws house. Their home overlooks a river lined with trees and flowers. There are often swans swimming in the water. A steep wooden staircase leads down to a deck, the perfect spot to fish.


My nephews are in town for the week from Ohio and fishing is one of their favorite things to do. My boys were excited, too. My 3-year-old daughter wanted no part of it. She opted to stay indoors with grandma, have a tea party and enjoy a buffet of snacks. I went along to make sure my 6-year-old didn’t fall in the water. Go ahead and say it, “She is totally a helicopter Mom.” I plead guilty by reason of insanity.

The view was breathtaking. My boys were by my side. I paused a moment to count my blessings. Remember this moment.
I cast the line into the water and passed the rod to my son. The bobber drifted ever so slowly to the left. Then, it felt as if something tugged on the line. It was not Nemo or any of his friends. It was a giant tree branch. I didn’t complain because my kids were having fun and that brings me joy.


Well, that joy lasted about 15 minutes. Then, the bugs started biting and I got tired of standing. Where the hell are the chairs? I worked out yesterday, squatting more than Christina Aguilera on a first date. I needed to sit. I am more of the enjoy the outdoors from indoors kind of person. Plus, I wasn’t even allowed to talk? What was I supposed to do? I am too impatient for this sport.

My kids got frustrated each time a fish swiped the worm off the hook. My husband got irritated when they didn’t follow his directions. Apparently, he is the best pro bass angler this side of Lake Erie. This was supposed to be fun? I decided drinking invisible tea would be more relaxing. Before leaving I managed to snap a picture which, thanks to Instagram, looks like a Norman Rockwell painting. I am told they had more fun after I left. I am okay with that.


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