Hairy situation

It is one of the great mysteries in life. How is it you can shave your legs regularly, but miss the same spot over and over again? You never notice it in the shower. The patch of hair can only be seen when you are in a public place. For me, that was at the dentist’s office. I made an appointment because of a toothache. It turns out a piece of a filling cracked. The dentist says I “might as well have a root canal.” Might as well? You might as well eat French fries. You might as well have another cocktail. You don’t might as well have needles stick needles in my gum line and use a drill to kill a tooth.

Growing up I went to a dentist (may he rest in peace) whose office was in a village with one stop light. He wasn’t exactly up to date on the latest technology. He didn’t use string and a pick up truck to pull teeth, but it was almost that bad. Fast forward a decade and I have more metal in my mouth than Lil’ Wayne. I use my “grill” to scare the hell out of my kids. “Do you want your teeth to look like this?” They are frozen with fear. “Then you better brush your teeth!”

I was sitting in the chair waiting to have an x-ray when I noticed a patch of hair that was long enough to braid. I quickly crossed my legs to hide the hack job.

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The dentist didn’t even look at my legs. I guess the “Mom sandals” I was wearing didn’t catch his attention. Until recently, I didn’t know there was such a thing as “Mom sandals” either. A friend’s teenage daughter informed me that my fully cushioned flip flops are not cool. Go figure? Upon entering the room the dentist asked, “So what seems to be the problem?” My mouth wanted to make a smart ass comment like “My vagina has been itching.” My brain, realizing that is funny, but highly inappropriate edited my response. “My, um, tooth, is, um hurted.” What the….? Hurted? Now, my chart has a footnote Patient has a difficult time speaking and shaving her legs properly.

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