Happy juice

Kids are very observant. Sometimes too observant. It turns out my son has been paying close attention when I make coffee each morning. I would love to go to Starbucks regularly. Unfortunately, I am not a Kardashian. I don’t whore myself out for the camera to make money. Maybe I should though? Those girls are rich. Anyway, my point is it can get expensive! Plus, the store in my town doesn’t have a drive-thru. I look like one of Honey Boo-Boo’s relatives in the morning. My hair is frizzy and I’m wearing sweatpants. The frizz reminds me of the time I got a bad perm. Why did we ever strive to look like a poodle?

I make my own version of a caramel macchiato at home. My espresso machine is smaller than a shoe box, but it does the trick. I have the caramel syrup and milk. I even purchased a vanilla syrup. Apparently, my son saw the bottle and thought I fell off the wagon. I was never on the wagon. There are days that my kids drive me to drink, but I binge on chocolate instead. I am hoping a flabby gut is chic this season.

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Anyway, he finally got the nerve to call me out. “You can’t drink and drive, mom!” I had to show him the bottle and allow him to smell the contents. Clearly, he has some trust issues. I am not pouring liquor into my drink. I would have laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation, but I hadn’t had my coffee yet.

Read more: CynicalMother.com

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