Miss Susie had a….

Kids nowadays don’t know how to have fun.  (She says while hiking up support hose and adjusting her false teeth)  Throwing birds at blocks?  Constructing houses with a guy named Steve? Playing video games with your friends who are in a different house?  (The Jetson’s didn’t predict that one either did they?)  That isn’t fun.  We knew how to have a good time when I was child.  We played a game with yarn and called it “Cat’s Cradle” even though it had nothing to do with kitties or a baby.   We smacked hands while singing about buying bread at a Chinese restaurant.  I actually tried to teach my children that game.  They looked at me like I had three heads.  Then, they went back to watching clips of talking oranges on YouTube.  (Who is the freak now?)  It seemed like a perfectly normal song when I was in elementary school.  Now that I am an adult it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I went to a Chinese restaurant,
to buy a loaf of bread, bread, bread,

Well, that’s where you went wrong.  Why would you go to a Chinese restaurant to buy bread?  Have you ever heard of a bakery?  Grocery store?   Did you buy one loaf of bread or three?
he wrapped it up in a 5 pound bag,

A 5 pound bag?  Is this the last supper?  Who needs 5 pounds of bread?
and this is what he said, said, said….

I heard the first said.  You don’t need to repeat everything three times.
My name is…
Kay Ai Pickle Ai
Pickle Ai Kay Ai
come from Polly
Polly Wally Whisky
Chinese chopsticks…

I am calling bulls**t on that one.  That is not your name.  Besides, nobody asked you for your name.  We asked for 5 pounds of bread. 

I understand this “cute” song is no longer politically correct.  Back then, we didn’t put that much thought into the words.  That is something adults over analyze.  However, we paid very close attention to the lyrics of another tune.  It went a little something like this:

Miss Suzie had a steamboat, her steamboat had a bell.
When Suzie went to heaven, her steamboat went to
Hell-o operator, give me number nine.
And if you disconnect me, I’ll kick your big
Behind the yellow curtain, there was a piece of glass.
When Suzie sat upon it, she cut her big fat
Ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies. The cows are in the pasture baking apple pies.

When we weren’t singing offensive songs about a particular ethnicity or cursing we played outside.   That is fun.

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