I love this idea. Beautiful and refreshing!

My daughter doesn’t leave the house without a hair bow. No, she is not in pageants, but I love girly things. I love my boys more than life, but I waited 12 years to buy pink. She is going to rock it! Etsy.com has some great shops with cute bows.  

My oldest son is an incredible artist. My 5-year-old will have his brother draw a picture before asking me. Actually, he would ask our dog to help before turning to his own mother. In fact the critical shit tells me, “You need more practice.” Well, at least I can tie my own shoes. (Oh, no she didn’t.) Okay, I suck. In eighth grade my self portrait looked like a Zombie ate my face. Too soon? Anyway, this is a kid who needed occupational therapy because he “didn’t hold his crayon right.” I don’t know about you, but I think if he draws like this at 12-years-old he can hold a…

I should have chosen a career writing instructions. I am constantly giving them. My husband needs a manual just to find the correct shirt in a drawer. (1.) Walk upstairs (2.) Take a right (3.) Go into our daughters room (4.) Open the door to the small closet (5.)Open the top drawer of dresser (6.) Look on the right hand side (7.) there is a pile of shirts (8.) you will see a purple short sleeved shirt with two flowers near shoulder (9.) not the shirt without flowers (10.) not the blue one (11.) take the shirt out of the dresser. (12.) put it on our daughter If I try…

It’s official. I need a dictionary to understand my son’s text messages. He isn’t speaking in Spanish. Foreign language is new to the curriculum in 6th grade. So, he can count to 10 in Spanish. (As can every toddler that watches Sesame Street) I actually took 5 years of French and can only tell you my house is brown. (And it’s not.) This generation has its own language. Basically, I occasionally scroll through his phone to make sure he is behaving. He knows it’s always a possibility. I like to keep him on his toes. I have a good friend who busted her teenage son sending vulgar texts to a…

I have been craving carrot cake. However, the recipe is too complicated. Actually any recipe that involves more than dumping a box of powder in a bowl and mixing is too much for me. Do you know a good restaurant that makes awesome carrot cake? If so, share.

With the glaring looks I received today when I walked into a restaurant you would have thought my nipples were hanging out. What did I do to deserve this treatment? I brought food from another restaurant. Look, I’m not pretending it’s a classy move, but I wanted Mexican and my kids wanted McDonalds. I understand that Chipotle is a step above Taco Bell, but it’s not a five star restaurant. In my opinion, if you offer free refills anything is game. Besides, I dropped $25 there for burrito bowls. Yeah, that’s right bitches I am a high roller! Perhaps the patrons were angry that my children weren’t eating free range…

Why does the woman with gigantic implants and a rock solid body have to park her ass next to me at the beach. I have a tribe of Tween boys with me that don’t need any stimulation. Not to mention I was actually feeling good about myself having lost 10 pounds. I mean, not good enough to cram my gut in a bikini. I was sporting a tank top and Bermuda shorts to hide the cottage cheese on my thighs. Now, I feel self conscious. It was a spur of the moment decision to take the kids to the beach yesterday. Before we walked out the door I fantasized about…

Phillip Phillips could easily hate his mother for giving him a ridiculous name. Nobody thought to say, “Hey Suzie (or whatever her name is) that is the dumbest fucking name I’ve ever heard!” Still, Phillip Phillips doesn’t have any ill feelings toward his mama. I will admit that I haven’t watched the entire season of American Idol. The last time I watched every week bikini girl ruined the finale. (She was a girl whose only talent was wearing a swim suit) I had gone to get the baby a bottle because my husband’s legs were broken, I mean he was tired. Apparently during that time bikini girl appeared on the…