You scream, I scream

My kids have discovered the ice cream truck. I was outside weeding when I heard the faint sound of a bell ringing. It brought back fond memories of my childhood. The ice cream truck was nearby. I dropped my gardening tool and ran inside to grab my purse. Well, it was more of a speed walk. “Hey guys! It’s the ice cream truck!” My children had no idea what the hell I was talking about, but ran outside anyway, “What’s an ice cream truck?” I explained, “You can buy ice cream right outside your house!” I sounded like I was selling the ShamWow. My son was skeptical, “Real ice cream?” I didn’t have time to explain that there is everything from Bomb Pops to sorbet in the shape of Pink Panther with bubblegum eyes. The kids trailed behind as I frantically waved my arms. I looked like I was either drowning or a big spender at a strip club. A white pick up truck pulled to the side of the road. I can tell you Magic Mike was not driving. A man sporting jean shorts, black sneakers and white tube socks stepped out. His hair was a deep gray color with streaks of silver. I don’t think it has seen a bottle of Suave since the Carter administration. While my children were choosing an ice cream, panic set in. What the f*** was I thinking? I flagged down a strange man who smells like shoe polish to give my kids ice cream? My son and daughter skipped inside the house. Meanwhile, I was trying to memorize his face to compare to the local sex offender registry. I even tried to snap his picture.


Then, I followed the kids back inside and locked the door. I decided it was time for a little “After-school Special” speech while they enjoyed their frozen treats. “I know Mommy just ran to a stranger’s truck for ice cream, but you don’t ever, ever, ever do that,” I continued. “You don’t ever talk to strangers. Not even if they say they have candy or ice cream or anything. If a stranger calls your name or says they know Mommy or Daddy run and scream.” They nodded. “A stranger could kidnap you and you will never come home.” My 13-year-old shouted from across the room, “Yeah, cause he will throw you in his trunk and kill you.” Okay? Now, enjoy that ice cream!


  • Judith Benson

    It’s true. the ice cream guy could be creepy grande, or worse…but it is the image of you getting to the truck. Best part. And your 13 year old. Great piece of writing, sis.

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